Dysfunctional Relationships….

Admit it.  You know it but it might be hard to say.  You've been the victim of a dysfunctional relationship.   You know the kind?  That one where you fell so head over heels in love.  That time when you were convinced that YOU were going to break that person, the one who has never experienced commitment in their life, the one that loved their own time and personal space so much that you had to make the accommodations to be with them?  The one that you were bound and determine to change, to win, to conquer only to be dumped flat on your face….heartbroken and bruised.

Foster parenting is a lot like a dysfunctional relationship.   No matter how much you tell yourself that you aren't going to set yourself up for a heart break, you still manage to walk away with a broken heart.       In the beginning you start out strong.   You keep your heart guarded and then there is that moment.  Maybe it was the way he smiled at you.  Perhaps the way she reached out for you.   It was that moment where you caved and you allowed yourself to fall in love the whole time knowing that you were going to get hurt.

Today is one of those days where I want to throw in the towel on foster parenting.   I can't say there is a specific reason, I just feel discouraged and defeated.  The fear of the unknown sets in and I wonder if I can handle another heart break.